Shelter in the Storm

I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul will rest securely
Oh Jesus I will hide in You
My source of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though Justice charges me with guilt
Your Grace will not refuse me
Oh Jesus I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant waves would break me
For in my weakness I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
Oh Jesus I will hide in You
The One who bears my burden
With faithful Hands that cannot fail
You'll bring me home to heaven

Bitter Mercies

Any loss that we experience can be hard and full of bitterness, brackish water that we have to drink, but in the midst of that loss, that bitterness, God provides mercy:

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ."
~ Phillipians 4:7-8

The mercy is that loss causes us to press even closer to Jesus, finding satisfaction and sufficiency in Him and Him alone. Yes, loss is bitter, but it is also merciful, for in it we might gain Christ.

"Behold the mercy of our King!
"Who takes from lose its bitter sting;
"Who, by His blood and often ours,
"Brings triumph over hostile powers;
"Who paints with crimson, earth and soul
"Until the bloody work is whole.
"When God creates a humbled hush,
"And makes Leviathan His brush,
"What we have lost, He will restore,
"That, and Himself, forevermore.
"When God is finished with His art,
"The quiet worship of our heart,
"It won't be long before the rod
"Becomes the tender kiss of God."
~ John Piper.

Epiphanies

So I was sitting in class with my 4th graders, grading their spelling tests when, all of the sudden, a thought struck me that caused me to have a paradigm shift. I realized that this was my life, now. Sitting here with the future right in front of me, I suddenly came to the conclusion that all the training, all the practice, all the "games" were over. I have a stake in the outcome of their education. I have a stake in how well they will be prepared for their future. I have a stake in everything now because now these nine and ten-year-olds are MY students, MY responsibility, MY life. And that changed everything.

Now, student teaching isn't just another clinical experience. It's not "Oh, well they aren't really my students so I don't have to worry about them". No, these young ladies and gentlemen and everything that they could be are resting on my ability to give them the best tools to learn as possible. This isn't student teaching, this is teaching with a safety net.

Now, my cooperating teacher isn't just a person that I'm taking notes on, she's a person who is here to help me be the best teacher I can to help my students to the best of my abilities. She's still the boss of the classroom, yes, but she's also my partner, here to help me. And that means that I'm here to help her, offering insight that is, yes, blatantly inadequate and text-book-ish, but insight nonetheless.

Now, my school isn't just a building that I have to visit at least once a week. It's the community, the context, the support structure, the central wheel that six years of training has brought me to. The administrators are my support staff that I can go to when I'm over my head. The 4th grade team are my fellow laborers with almost the exact same struggles that I'm going through who are able to assist me even as I assist them.

Now, my students aren't just a bunch of kids that I hang out with. They are my joy, my drugs, my motivators, and my testing ground. Suddenly their success or failure is dependent on me and how best I teach them.

Now, not in January, not after graduation, not when I get hired, not when I start setting up my own classroom, no, now, RIGHT NOW...
I am a teacher.

Guy Fawkes Day

I'm shocked at how many people don't know that today, November 5th, is Guy Fawkes (or Bonfire) Day. So, a little history lesson, shall we (and it shall have to be little as I have other things to get to)?

In 1605, Guy Fawkes, former soldier, fell into a plot to protest his displeasure with the English Government by planting huge cases of gunpoweder all around the base of Parliament and, in essence, blowing all the politicians to kingdom come. Obviously, he didn't succeed. But the people of England have lovingly remembered his anti-establishment tendancies by creating effigies of the man and torching them on large, public, bonfires every November 5th and setting off fireworks. How cool is that? I think that the English are the only people in the world who would conceive of the idea of honoring the thwarting of senseless destruction by allowing more senseless destruction.

So now, on the 403rd anniversary of some whacko (who strongly believed in his right to protest the government) not blowing up the Parliament buildings, we come to the day after one of the most anticipated political races that I think my generation will ever seen. And I seriously want to set off some fireworks and light a bonfire. Not so much to protest the government (though I have SERIOUS issues with our government lately) but to honor the thwarting of senseless destruction by allowing more senseless destruction.

In any case, Guy Fawkes Day. Go light some fireworks...